staring at the blue screen,
counting down the miles,
getting nearer to the pearl of orient...

first contact with home people,
annoyance crept inside me,
"will I be feeling this way for long?"

touched down...
things seem familiar and different the same time,
certain memories faded and were discarded...

few thousand miles...
will I conquer that journey again?

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sitting down, sipping her hot chocolate...
memory clips come and go with the flow of smoke...
his smile, his gentle touch, his warmth...
fill up the space...

tears rolling down on her cheeks...
the stinging of her eyes...
she has no choice but let the sadness sink deep...
as a bittersweet reminder...

time to let her gaze fall somewhere else...

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when i just moved in, things were slow... and it got darker day by day...

not until two weeks ago, i accepted a part time job as a grader in tutor center..

later on, another part time job came along...

I am grateful really.... but i received bad news from home.... i lost mua balance again... lost sight of my priorities...

now... i'm still trying to find balance....

when will i be stable?

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i'm going crazy...

need to clear up my mind... adjust my goals in life...

an unexpected news caused me to have a reality check on my current status....

am i doing things right? have i put in enough effort?

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is it me?

is it my problem?

is it that i'm a pain?

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my dear comrade...

you are a trusted friend and play a very important role in my life... you let me see some of the greatest things in the world... you bring me so much joy... however, some bad things have happened to you lately and i am to be blamed... i let my guard down and enemies marched in... i am so sorry... i will never ever do that to you again..

unless i set my eyes on someone else... :P

lastly, thank you, my lovely compaq..

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